Saying “no” is not always an easy thing to do. There are tons of reasons why you may find yourself unable to say such an easy word. It can be an especially hard thing to do in the workplace and at home. I know, sometimes I have trouble saying it, too for a variety of reasons. I have trouble saying no to my daughter because she’s cute and I never want to have to hurt her feelings or break her spirit. I have trouble saying no to friends, because I hate feeling like a bad friend or like I let them down and sometimes, I find myself unable to say it because I feel like I’m saying no to an opportunity I may never get again. However, saying no is necessary sometimes for your own wellbeing, and I have learned that the hard way. Here are a few things I thought about that helped me learn how to say no when I need to.
Think About the Consequences
I always think about the consequences of a situation if I don’t say no. One of the most common situations I’ve been in is when people ask me to borrow money. They seem like they always have a good reason as to why they need to borrow the money, but then always have a lousy excuse as to why they cannot pay it back. I’ve learned to say no in this situation, because I don’t get the money back and have been short myself when bills came due because of it. I have also had times when I’ve needed to borrow money, and found that there was no one willing to lend, so my generosity was not returned. Now, I just say no and I find it easier all the way around.
Know It Is for the Best
Sometimes, my daughter will want to do things that I know are not in her best interest, and when I say no, she begs and says, “Mommy, please!”. She can be quite convincing, but I have learned that I need to say no because it’s for the best. Sure, she may get mad for a while, but she will get over it and in the end, understand that I was looking out for her. As my dad always says, “If she wanted to go play in the bathtub with an electrical cord, would you let her? No, because it is not safe”. His words make me laugh, but they also make a lot of sense.
One Door Closes, Another One Opens
If an opportunity presents itself to you, you can either choose to take the opportunity or pass it up. Maybe you’ve been offered a new job, but they’re not sure just how long they will be able to employ you for. If you already have a stable job, think about the outcome. You may give that up for something that won’t work out and in the end, you’ll be sorry. Just because an opportunity presents itself doesn’t mean you have to go for it, hook, line and sinker. When one door closes, another opens and if you pass it up, know that a better opportunity will come along.
Learning to say no is not always an easy task. In many cases, it is easier said than done, but using these methods can certainly help you to get better at it. Realizing that saying no can benefit you is important, as well, because it prevents you from feeling guilty or used in the long run. Give it a try the next time you don’t feel quite right about a situation.